Wednesday, September 9, 2009

From the Couch: Good things do happen after dark

A few of my observations while watching Atlanta and knowing that I didn't have to go to work the next day:

1. It started out solidly. Brian Zuckerman, chosen by Pep Boys to be the Grand Marshall, greased the "start your engines command," proving that a Senior VP - an attorney even! - understands NASCAR better than a somber late-night talk show host.

2. Dale Earnhardt's skeleton bone gloves are sweet. I'd like to see this extended to the entire fire suit. You know, how about one of those female figures in a bikini for Scott Speed?

3. When did they turn Atlanta into a dirt track? That was a veritable road-course race, with all the right-hand turning going on. And two broken axles? Two? What are the chances? I understand how it happens when you're my sister and you just happen to ignore the re-entry vibration coming from the front end because you "thought it was the radio." But I can't remember the last time I heard of two different drivers from two different teams breaking an axle in the same race.

4. Why is Atlanta not considered a superspeedway? It may be the double-digit drop off in tire wear, but even then, those guys are flat out hauling. And unlike Daytona or Talladega, they actually can pass and have to hit the brakes for something other than a pit stop.

5. Damn beer tastes good while watching NASCAR on a Sunday night and knowing that tomorrow is a holiday.

6. Dodge swept both races at Atlanta. I'll say it again, Dodge swept Atlanta. For a manufacturer and two teams that in recent years have not been synonymous with NASCAR horsepower, that stat is impressive.

7. David Reutimann got fourth, and I hardly noticed. It was almost as if he was camouflaged. Sadly, it was too little too late. But hats off to a great season.

8. Bobby Labonte clearly understands how to professionally say "f@#! you."

9. Kevin Harvick is not happy with Clint Bowyer. It's a safe bet he threw him a couple of unprofessional "F@#! you's."

10. I will never understand the double-file restart rules completely. How does it work for the lead-lap cars that pits multiple times? How about lap down cars that stay out? If a lead-lap car stayed out and everybody else pitted, is he a lap ahead of the field?

11. The only thing I have in common with Carl Edwards? We have both broken a foot playing Frisbee. Well, actually I was drinking beer and fell off a table, but I was playing in an ultimate Frisbee tournament at the time. We don't know the particulars in Carl's case, but I'm assuming it was similar. He claimed that he and a buddy went for the Frisbee simultaneously, resulting in the break. Yeah, right. It's more likely that he made a sweet one-handed catch without spilling a single drop of his adult beverage and went on to spectacularly botch his Daniel-san Karate Kid show-off move. I'm merely speculating, but the guy does back flips when he wins. Clearly he has a celebration issue.

12. In what seems like every race, Jeff Gordon has a moment where he backpedals wildly only to recover and score a solid finish. I'm conflicted about this. I like the recovery. I just don't like that he needs it.

13. Kyle Busch will have some stress on him this weekend, not to mention a few extra cameras. I'll wager that ABC shadows his every move with a Kyle-cam. In fact, I'm praying for it. If he misses the Chase, I fully expect to learn some new cuss words. I'd also suggest that the camera man keep a tranquilizer gun at the ready, unless he wants to get gut stomped by a rabid Shrub.

14. A Labor Day weekend Sunday night race is the perfect recipe for a whopper of a headache.

15. A Saturday night RIR race under the lights to settle eight of the 12 Chase spots is going to be a recipe for a whopper of a headache. I cannot wait.

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