This is great. Really great. Totally stoked. The Jays pulled some strings (no they didn't) and got me, your inherently lazy couch commentator, an interview with Robin Pemberton (well, no*). Robin Pemberton, to refresh your memory, is currently the Vice President of Competition for NASCAR, meaning his job is an oxymoron. No, I did not say he was a moron.
Anyway, the Jays worked really hard (bwahahaha) and got me this interview (again, no, they didn't), so I wanted to share with you his thoughts (as commentated by me).
Q: So, there are many opinions flying around right now about the state of NASCAR. What is your general opinion on the state of the sport?
Robin Pemberton: I think things are in pretty good shape.
Like the fence at Talladega, Jeff Gordon's car at Watkin's Glen, and Ryan Newman's undies? And what does ‘pretty good' mean anyway? It's one of those tacit phrases that really means the opposite in my book. Like, "The tofu-polenta stir fry is not bad, honey". Plus, when you add two words together that basically mean the same thing, you are lying.
I think we've had great competition this year.
You and the 48 team. Were you even watching the Daytona 500 (rain-shortened), Phoenix, Talladega (Fall), California (Spring), Kansas (all of them, ever), the Chase race, and every other single-file parade that my wet brain has already forgotten?
We have some rivalries that have developed throughout the year -
We have one rivalry: just one, not some. Granted, it's a good one, because as far as I can tell neither one of them cares.
and for the most part, I think we've had some of the best competition I can remember in my years in the sport.
Jesus, Robin, put down the pipe. JJ has run away with this thing. What year are you "in"? 1978?
Q: Yet most estimates put attendance as being off by about 15 percent. What do you attribute that to?
RP: I think it's a well-known fact that the economy has not helped things. When people have their disposable incomes reduced, they have to make choices.
But they don't have choices when their disposable income is increased?
Our fans can't come to the amount of races that they've come to in the past.
They may, however, if you deflate the price of a race - all aspects of attending a race - accordingly.
When they're able to come again, we'll be here for them to put on a good show.
I'm blushing.
Q: This sport is different from others in that so much relies on corporate sponsorship dollars. Some say next year might be worse than this year for NASCAR in that regard. Your thoughts?
RP: You know, you can speculate all you want.
Thanks, I will. But it's "your thoughts", not mine.
Next year, what we do is we plan for the worst.
Nothing like a positive attitude. I wonder if that's the 48 team's secret?
Everybody watches their budgets and runs their business.
Everybody like, say, AIG, Bear Stearns, and closer to home, GM and Chrysler?
All these teams out here, they're running their businesses the way they see fit. But I can't comment or speculate on what may or may not be out there.
Why? Helton got your tongue? Say something, for crying out loud. Be honest. Say what you mean. Some teams need help, some tracks need help, some people need help, some rules need help. You are an experienced executive of an enormous, multi-million dollar company. You must have some thoughts on the future of your business. No?
We've worked with the teams and talked to them, and we know where they all lay in terms of having to make business sense out of all this. There is not the free flow of money that there once was - but that's what America is about.
It is? It's about not having the free flowing money there once was? I'm sort of partial to the whole constitutional republic, representative democracy, free society version. The apple pie, baseball, and Elvis Presley version isn't bad, either.
It comes and it goes, and it goes in cycles.
Just like DW says, comers and goers! You are a sage, my friend.
Q: Are you concerned that there will be more start-and-park efforts to fill fields next season?
RP: We have always seen, throughout the years, a number of people who don't intend to run all the laps of a race. Or if they don't run all the laps of a race, it's OK with them.
But not me, so much, and I assume, you.
It isn't something that just came up. I saw it in the 1980s; I saw it in the '70s. And I've heard about it in other times.
Like 1880?
There are people who like to compete at a higher level. And there are some of the teams who do what they do;
Which is suck.
they put more effort toward some races than others, in terms of trying to compete. Once again, it's about their balance sheets and what they have to do.
Oh, I see, it is about the money! Finally, that's the honesty I'm looking for.
Q: Another hot issue this season was Talladega -- again. What can be done to keep the cars on the ground there?
RP: We're working on that. Like anything, many of our rules and regulations come out of a reaction. Carl [Edwards'] wreck [in the spring race, where he nearly went into the grandstands] was what it was.
Nothing. Nothing can be done. Have you ever seen a gust of wind flip over a tractor-trailer? Exactly. Boxes don't cut through the wind, particularly if they are going backwards or happen to get punched by a two-ton battering ram.
We made a change there [in terms of minor modifications to the car].
We put magnets on them!
The race track has done a job with their catch fences and stuff to further protect the race fans, and we're working right now on some things that hopefully we can put out there that will help all of that.
Chad Knaus, for example, has figured out a way to build a car with negative mass, thereby circumventing Gauss' Law and defying gravity! It's genius, but sadly, we had to ban the car from the track because the front spoiler was 1/64 of an inch low.
Q: It looks like you're going to end the year with two four-time champions -- not only Jimmie Johnson, who is poised to capture his fourth consecutive Sprint Cup title, but also in Ron Hornaday, who often is overlooked but already has clinched his fourth Camping World Truck Series title. As a guy who clearly respects the history of this sport as much as anybody, can you put those accomplishments in perspective?
Pemberton: Hornaday is a great racer. He's been around a little bit
Long bit.
and has been on all different levels throughout NASCAR. ... To still be able to compete at his high level in one of our three national series, everyone should really appreciate what he's done for the sport and what he has accomplished.
Completely agree. But here is a guy who should still be racing at the Cup level. Only the current environment doesn't allow for too many 'old guns' to play in the game. The result is a young and green driver pool, and subsequently, a collectively less skilled race. With more Ron Hornadays in your Cup races, you will have better races. From a competitive standpoint, would you rather watch the Colts play New England, or the Vikings play Detroit?
Q: What are you going to do in the off-season to relax?
RP: Work on next year. Work on stuff at the wind tunnel. Work with our guys on Daytona and Talladega.
You, my friend, are a live one.
(*Actually, it's an excerpted spoof from Joe Menzer's piece on NASCAR.com, but I think you already knew that.)
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