The Michael Schumacher Comeback Saga begins now

This is how it begins, again: Michael Schumacher begins his Formula One comeback tour this week with a set of GP2 tests in Spain.

Schumacher spent three years in retirement, but much like Michael Jordan, Richard Nixon, Brett Favre, Jay-Z, The Who, Kiss and every single boxer ever, the seven-time F1 champ couldn't sit still. In December, he signed with Mercedes, paving the way for his 2010 comeback. This week, he'll test GP2 rides for three days, and will help GP2 prep its cars for 2011.

On Feb. 1, Schumacher will step back up to the big leagues when he starts F1 testing in Valencia, Spain. He hasn't run an F1 ride since the end of the 2006 season -- and considering he may well be the world's first billion-dollar athlete, why would he?

The big question with Schumacher is what he'll have left in the tank, so to speak, after three years on the sidelines. What's his reaction time? What's his tolerance for risk? What's the condition of his back, both literal and metaphorical? He had attempted a comeback last year, but abandoned that effort because of lingering injuries from a 2009 motorcycle crash.

Regardless of how his season goes, Schumacher's legend is secure. And if he ends up embarrassing himself, hey, who cares -- he's Michael Schumacher, and the rest of us are not.

Schumacher's first drive will be GP2 car [AP via Yahoo! Sports]

Tony Stewart's awesome Aussie adventure draws to a close

Tony Stewart has returned from Australia, where he spent the turn of the decade getting ... well, frankly, getting knocked around the track by a bunch of Aussies.

Not that it mattered; Smoke was welcomed in Australia like a conquering hero. (Check that dramatic shot there at right, with Smoke's ride on the right and the world-famous Sydney Opera House on the left.) 

Stewart ran at the Tyrepower Paramatta City Raceway for four events, and while he didn't win anything, he did impress everybody with his Sprint car skills. In his final race, he ran the fastest time in qualifying, but blew a tire and finished 19th. Ah, well. (No truth to the rumor that Smoke was confused because he thought cars circled the track in the opposite direction Down Under.)

Stewart also got to the fireworks in Sydney on New Year's Eve, which, judging by YouTube, were pretty spectacular. He's already apparently making plans to return next year, where we expect VICTORY, Smoke! U-S-A! U-S-A! 

After the jump, you can check out the muck that Smoke was running through, courtesy of an Australian local broadcast:

Kind of cool seeing Tony back in the black-and-orange in the postrace interview, isn't it? Like a throwback uni or something.

Four Wide: At least wrecked NASCAR rides don't go in the ice

Bringing you the best in NASCAR news and info to keep your day rolling right ... or left, whichever.

• Not NASCAR, but still interesting: these noble loons up in Minnesota recover pickups that have crashed through the ice. Cost? Up to $2,500. And I'm sure those trucks are working just perfectly once they dry out. [Pickuptrucks.com via Jalopnik]

• Michael Waltrip is going to Dubai! Hopefully he won't exhibit as much skin as he showed in that video in the Sound & Speed post below; that well could kick off a horrific international incident. [Scene Daily]

• Patrick Carpentier is still hoping to keep that NASCAR dream alive. May not be the best time to break back into the sport, but Carpeteater has some skills and could easily outrace some of the young'uns out there. [Sporting News]

• NASCAR Scene has ended its print production. That's a shame, as it put a lot of good NASCAR journalists -- the real kind, not the type that sits back and makes veiled innuendo gags based on Patrick Carpentier's name -- out of work. [Charlotte Business Journal]

• A writer for PhillyBurbs asks, "Am I the only person involved in the sport of auto racing who really does not get that excited about Danica Patrick?" Not passing judgment, but this writer might want to do a wee bit more reading. Anyway, it's another Danica-is-a-marketing-machine-more-than-a-driver article. [PhillyBurbs]

Got a link/tip? Hit us up at jay.busbee@yahoo.com and follow us on Twitter.

Sound & Speed: NASCAR fans like country music! Who knew?

It's a little-known secret, but NASCAR fans actually have a bit of an affinity for country music. I know, I was pretty surprised to learn it too, but here we are. Anyway, this past weekend in Nashville, NASCAR drivers and country music performers came together for a festival of speed and sound dubbed -- imagine this -- "Sound & Speed."

The event began Friday night at the legendary Ryman Auditorium with a concert by Hank Williams Jr. But as it turned out, Bocephus was just the opening act for Kyle Petty, who's got a band of his own. And let me tell you, for a country singer, Kyle's a hell of a driver. (Kidding. I guess. I have no idea what the Kyle Petty Experience, or whatever their band name is, sounds like. Video/audio, please!)

Things kicked into a higher gear (see what I did there?) on Saturday with a big to-do featuring a few drivers you may have heard of: Richard Petty, Tony Stewart, Dale Earnhardt Jr., Carl Edwards, Kyle Busch and oh so many others. Country music acts included Josh Turner, Bucky Covington, Danielle Peck and a whole bunch of good ol' American others.

On a serious note (see what I did there?), the festival benefits Kyle's Victory Junction Gang Camp, and helps send up to 400 kids to the camp every year. Since the campers don't pay anything to go, the camp needs up to $8 million per year to operate, and Sound & Speed helps with that.

After the jump, a Sound & Speed promo that's the most horrifying video you'll see all year. Don't say I didn't warn you.

You know, that trailer there for "Basic Instinct 3" doesn't look good at all. Sharon Stone has really let herself go.

Joey Logano, cool as ice while cruising on ice

NASCAR drivers will race pretty much anything up to and including grocery store carts if you let 'em, and this past weekend, Joey Logano and his pals proved that true yet again.  Logano, Boris Said and others hit the ice for the fifth annual Lucas Oil Geoff Bodine Bobsled Challenge. Alas, there was no grocery cart racing, but the bobsleds cruised just fine.

The challenge pitting NASCAR and NHRA drivers against one another took place at Lake Placid, New York. Those of you with a bit of age on you may recall that Lake Placid was the site of the U.S. men's hockey team's Miracle on Ice. And should you recall that "do you believe in miracles?" evening, this'll make you feel old -- when that happened, Logano was still ten years away from being born. Jeez.

Anyway, the young pup was running in his third bobsled event, and bested Todd Bodine in the NASCAR drivers' heat to reach the championship match. Against the NHRA's Melanie Troxel, the first woman to run the event, Logano's run of 49.81 seconds bested Troxel's 50.08 by thismuch.

The event benefits the Bo-Dyn Bobsled Project, designed to provide American-made sleds for the U.S. men's and women's teams. (Wait, doesn't Logano drive a Toyo--er, never mind.) And with the Winter Olympics coming in a month, it's probably about time the Olympic team starts thinking about buying some sleds. The event will be shown on SPEED on Jan. 24 and Jan. 31.

And the fun doesn't stop for Logano; Monday morning, he was the guest of honor at his hometown Middlesex County, Connecticut's Chamber of Commerce monthly breakfast. I hope they had a waffle-making station. I love those.

Icing the Competition [Hartford Courant]

Midnight Marbles, where the season draws ever closer

Hey everybody! Been fairly quiet in the world of NASCAR these last few weeks, but that's all about to change the closer that we get to Daytona. We've got news, podcasts, features, the whole deal coming your way as we get closer to starting engines by the beach, and we're happy to have you along. For now, kick back and enjoy the last few quiet weekends -- spend a little time with your family, perhaps -- and get ready for an absolutely wide-open 2010. Have at it here with whatever conversation you'd like to make, and we'll see you very soon with more stuff!

Richard Childress Racing apparently compacting to three cars

2009 was an ugly year for Richard Childress Racing, no two ways about it. Nobody on the team made the Chase, and the most significant news out of the team came from the will-he-stay-or-will-he-go saga of Kevin Harvick. (He stayed, at least for one more year.)

Unfortunately, though, it's a rough world, and sometimes bad news carries over for more than one season. Such is the case with Casey Mears, who will apparently lose his RCR ride. There had been stories circulating that Jack Daniels would sponsor Mears in the Daytona 500, but even if that's the case, it doesn't look like there's a home for Casey at RCR after that:

"I'm hoping to try to find him something (at another team)," said team owner Richard Childress. "He hasn't landed anything yet. He's a great guy and did a great job for us at the end of the year and I just wish there was something we could do with him but right now, I don't want to do anything with a fourth team that's going to take away from our other three teams."

Casey's had a tough go of it, having been the odd man out a couple times now. He's talented enough to run at the Sprint Cup level, but at this point, the question is, does anybody want to give him a seat?

NASCAR might ground the Car of Tomorrow's wing

Ah, Talladega. Check that photo above. Dale Junior out in front, Ryan Newman having a little trouble with the wall, and holy crap Carl Edwards is upside down ten feet off the ground! Why didn't anybody tell me that could happen?

NASCAR is doing the previously unthinkable -- revisiting the Car of Tomorrow -- and specifically focusing on the rear wing. Now, despite the wing's name and the rather deceptive photo above there, NASCAR isn't looking at the wing because of the CoT's tendency to take flight at Talladega. Rather, NASCAR is looking at the rear wing because of repeated driver complaints about handling, competition and even appearance. (Scott Speed was complaining that the wing clashed with his firesuit.)

Prior to the Car of Tomorrow's introduction, Sprint Cup cars hadn't had a detached wing since the mid-1970s. And if NASCAR testing is any indication, the wing's days could be numbered.

"We are currently meeting with drivers and owners to discuss a number of options," NASCAR director of communications Ramsey Poston wrote in an e-mail. "Going back to the spoiler is one of them under serious consideration. We'll make an announcement in the coming weeks."

Now, you probably don't need a calendar to figure that "the coming weeks" will take us into the regular season. So, yes, this means that NASCAR may well be making another change in the middle of the regular season. But if it means better competition on the track -- and a chance for certain drivers (cough88cough) to stop griping about the CoT -- I'm all for it. You?

NASCAR exploring idea of returning to rear spoiler [NASCAR.com]

They make it 'cause we buy it: Danica Patrick perfume

No sport offers up a more bewildering array of souvenir crap memorabilia than NASCAR, and They Make It digs deep into the corners of the Internet to bring all that strangeness to light. Today: they're not just good drivers, they're delicious, too!

The item: Danica Patrick perfume. It's coming out just in time for Daytona! Can you smell the excitement? Can you?

The deal: It's Danica! It's perfume! Buy it and smell like Danica! Or something like that. I dunno, and neither does Danica herself, apparently, judging from that months-old photo. The perfume will be made by SA Fragrances, and will include everything from purse sprays to bath and body gift -- oh, come on, why am I writing this? Look, just jump to the comments section and start with the jokes. For starters, "Danica Patrick for Her" is the name of this concoction. That's dull and unimaginative. What should this perfume really be called?

The hat tip: Jonathan Sacks, who edits Sports Rubbish, and who offers up this assessment: "Until proven otherwise, we'll just assume the perfume smells like burning rubber and gasoline." Indeed ... say, does "overhype" have a smell?

If you've got a bit of NASCARiana for us to run here, hit me up at jay.busbee@yahoo.com and give us the goods.

Front Row Motorsports doubles the size of its team to two

Hey, here's some good news. Front Row Motorsports is running a full season in 2010, and will be fielding not one, but two cars.

Travis Kvapil, a former Truck Series champ and one of those "how-come-he-doesn't-have-a-fulltime-ride?" guys will indeed get a fulltime ride in one of the two Front Row cars. Kvapil, whose name always looks like it's spelled backwards or mixed up or something, last ran a full season in 2008 for Yates Racing. The other seat on the Front Row bandwagon will be reserved for rookie Kevin Conway.

Last year, John Andretti ran a full season for Front Row, finishing right on the bubble with 35 points. Andretti attempted 27 races, qualifying for 13 events. But that top-35 finish guarantees Front Row a spot in the initial races, and from there it'll be up to Kvapil to keep the car in the hunt. Conway, on the other hand, has never run a Sprint Cup race ever, so you can imagine the terror that will be filling the car when Daytona rolls around. 

Sure, the easy joke is that the only front row these guys will be on is the front row of cars headed to the garage early, but let's be more charitable, shall we? The more cars in qualifying, the better racing we'll have on the track.

Oh, and one other thing -- Long John Silver's is sponsoring Kvapil's car, but Conway's sponsor is as yet unannounced. But if you check Front Row's site, you'll see that there are sponsorship opportunities available! Could this be the year we finally get The Marbles onto a Sprint Cup ride? We shall see ...

Vegas odds to win in 2010 favor, yep, Jimmie Johnson

Scrape up those coins and cash out those savings bonds, everybody, it's time to start betting on NASCAR! The Las Vegas Hilton SuperBook has rolled out the first round of NASCAR 2010 odds, and you're going to be amazed at who they pick to win!

Oh, wait, they picked Jimmie Johnson at 5-2 odds. Ah, well.

Next up are Mark Martin at 7-1, Kyle Busch at 8-1 and Jeff Gordon at 8-1. From there, the odds start dropping off fairly significantly. Tony Stewart, Denny Hamlin and Carl Edwards are all 10-1, and Juan Pablo Montoya is a surprising 12-1. As Gaming Today notes, there's potential value in the Childress guys -- Kevin Harvick and Jeff Burton are both going off at 30-1. 

Now, it's important to note that these odds do not necessarily mean that these drivers are favored to win, but they're set to entice betting. Nowhere was this more evident than with Dale Earnhardt Jr., whose odds were set artificially low in the past because so many people would bet on him. Now, though, he's going off at 30-1 odds to win the Cup, his highest ever, meaning if you're a true Junior fan he could put your kids through college with a big season. But it's more likely that you'll just be out a few bucks.

The Daytona 500 odds indicate that the race is wide open, with only Kyle going off in single-digit odds at 8-1. After that, seven drivers -- 48, 5, 24,11, 88, 14 and 2 -- are 12-1, indicating how many people have a reasonable shot at this race. Worst odds, for those of you keeping track, go to Scott Speed at 100-1. Even the field is 25-1, which means if you can get your car together and qualify, Vegas thinks even you're four times the value of Scott Speed. (Not really, but run with it.) Poor Speed. 

Of course, you should only gamble where gambling is legal. Because if not, you're violating the law. And that's usually wrong.

Hilton posts 2010 NASCAR odds [Gaming Today]

Talladega crash victim recovering well, still a Carl Edwards fan

As 2009 ended and I was reminded of Carl Edwards' horrific wreck at Talladega last spring, I wondered what became of the teen who was injured in the crash. Blake Bobbitt (rumored to be no relation to Lorena) was attending her very first NASCAR event in April when Carl's errant car rudely interrupted her afternoon, sending her on an unanticipated, and unremembered, helicopter ride to the UAB hospital with a "smashed" left jaw. Doctors there installed a titanium plate and wired her jaw shut for the next 6 weeks. According to her father, this did not impair her ability to chatter up a storm! And she also managed to graduate from high school right on schedule. Good news all the way around.

Carl Edwards naturally felt terrible about the whole thing. He can relate, having suffered a broken jaw at some point himself. (Matt Kenseth wishes he were responsible.) He sent Blake flowers and visited her in the hospital, and invited her back to Talladega for the October race. After some soul-searching, she did attend, though she declined to sit on Carl's pit box to watch the race. Too close to the cars, maybe?

Not being the sue-happy types, Blake's family relied on their insurance to pay the bills. Though Talladega officials have refused to comment, her father Terry maintains that Talladega Motor Speedway paid all the deductibles and copays, and that the Bobbitts were not out of pocket in the ordeal. Young Blake will have to go back to the doctors next spring, and they will re-break her jaw and do bone-grafts. I guess you can't leave those titanium thingies in there forever. We'll attempt to get some after-after pictures ... well, after.

Meanwhile, back at Talladega, the speedway introduced a taller fence, and NASCAR introduced a smaller restrictor plate. Which I seem to recall pleased pretty much nobody. The only question I have is, how many years must we go without any more injuries before these measures can be considered effective?

After the crash [Times Daily]

Taillights fade: A look back at Penske Racing's 2009

We've wrapped the season, and so it's time to wrap up our look back. In a feature shamelessly ripped from Puck Daddy's Death Watch and Big League Stew's Walk Toward The Light, we're looking back on all the drivers. In the interest of making sure that this feature doesn't last until April, we're stepping up the pace and covering teams. And yes, I know there aren't taillights on Sprint cars. It's a metaphor. Roll with it. Oh, and sorry to Penske for leaving them out of the initial round. Really sorry. Guys, can you please tell Kurt Busch to stop stalking me? I'm getting kinda scared.

Team:  Penske Racing

Drivers:  Kurt Busch, David Stremme, Sam Hornish Jr.

Record:  Two wins, zero poles, 12 top-5s, 28 top-10s.

Season summary: Kurt Busch was the story of the year at Penske, returning to the kind of form that had him challenging for a championship a couple years back. On the other hand, Stremme and Hornish made almost no noise all year, and latecomer Brad Keselowski, while quite talented, got much more press for his fight with Denny Hamlin than for his on-track success.

Where it went right:  Kurt Busch turned in one of the season's most dominant performances in Atlanta's spring race. He ran well throughout the year and finished a solid fourth in the Chase standings. All in all, a fine return to form.

Where it went wrong: Stremme just never got going, and Hornish was more famous for his wrecks than his finishes. Still, while Stremme has been offered the opportunity to seek employment elsewhere, Hornish remains one of the best drivers in motorsports, and could well come around in the way Juan Pablo Montoya has.

Prospects for 2010: Busch is looking as strong as ever, and should run quite well once again. And Keselowski is going to get every chance to prove that his talent is the equal of his attitude. 

Related Hendrick posts from 2009:
Kurt Busch throws his crew chief under the bus with a smile
Wreck of the week: Stremme's spin beams down bad puns

Next up: The 2010 season! Really!

Robby Gordon mans up, takes fourth stage of Dakar Rally

While most NASCAR drivers are tidying up their honey-do lists or picking out nursery furniture, Real Man Robby Gordon is tooling around South America in the 2010 Dakar Rally. (Wait ... isn't Dakar in Africa?) Gordon, an accomplished rally driver, is cranking his way up the South American continent and, so far, not doing too badly.

Gordon won Tuesday's 101-mile Stage 4 by one second over leader Stéphane Peterhansel, but Gordon still sits about an hour behind the top spot. The race had to be delayed an hour or so, not because of rain -- no, that's NASCAR's game -- but because many of the vehicles were stranded out on the Argentinean dunes on Monday. 

The Dakar Rally -- which, as it turns out, has been moved to South America because of terrorist concerns -- is a 9,000-kilometer (5,600-mile) runa cross the South American continent through Chile and Argentina, looping from the Pacific to the Atlantic and back again. The race will last until January 17, and we'll bring you updates throughout the week.

Follow along with Toyo Tires, Gordon's tire sponsor, at their blog right here and see how Gordon .  Or, if you like, you can keep checking Twitter and see which drivers are cleaning out their garages or baking cookies.

Four Wide: Who knows Jimmie better, his wife or Chad?

Bringing you the best in NASCAR news and info to keep your day rolling right ... or left, whichever.

• Who knows Jimmie Johnson better, his crew chief or his wife? Be very careful, Jimmie. (Stay tuned to the end for the creepy quote of the year.) [ESPN the Magazine via All Left Turns]

• Checking out the upcoming season of "Madhouse," a History Channel show focusing on short track racing at Bowman-Gray Stadium in Winston-Salem, N.C. Here's hoping they bring those skeeves from "Jersey Shore" down for a guest appearance. [The Backstretch]

• Good news! The new Showtime "Inside NASCAR" show will be available on all kinds of formats -- Internet and mobile phone -- in addition to cable. [Sporting News]

• For the video game nuts out there, dreamGEAR is partnering with NASCAR to create new wheels and other accessories for driving games. We got the NASCAR Kart game for the Wii for Christmas, and all I can say is, NASCAR needs to add a volcano course to the Sprint Cup series, pronto. [NASCAR.com]

• And finally -- NASCAR's sexiest mustaches of 2009. This one starts funny and takes a hard right turn into disturbing right at the end. [All Left Turns]

Got a link/tip? Hit us up at jay.busbee@yahoo.com and follow us on Twitter.

Don't plan on putting the kids through college with collectibles

That gentleman there is Sam Thornton, a Montreal fellow who created the ultimate NASCAR mancave. We wrote about him a couple months back. Sam loves his NASCARiana, as do many of you, but here's the bad news: if you were planning on turning all those old Rusty Wallace and Intimidator die-casts into cold, hard cash, you're probably out of luck. The NASCAR collectibles market, much like everything else with a dollar sign, is crashing hard.

Motorsports Authentics, which produces a vast amount of NASCAR-branded shirts, cars, and other gewgaws, is dangling on the edge of bankruptcy. The company owes $23.4 million to a range of entities, including several NASCAR teams -- Roush-Fenway, Dale Earnhardt Jr., Hendrick Motorsports and Stewart-Haas Racing. Apparently -- make of this what you will -- a large part of Motorsports Authentics' debt is tied up in significant quantities of unsold Junior merchandise.

MA was created in 2005 when Speedway Motorsports Inc. and International Speedway Corporation joined together to spend $250 million in the purchase of two souvenir companies. Since then, the only year the company has turned a profit was 2008, and that only a relatively minuscule $3.2 million.

Racing Nation has an interesting take on the way that the collectibles market bottomed out, from the insanely booming days of the 1980s to the "hey, this stuff ain't so exclusive" awakening of the 1990s to the scorched-earth world of today. Most souvenir cars and jackets are worth a gut-wrenching ten percent, at best, of what collectors paid for them.

So, yes -- bad news for those of you hoping to make some cash with your souvenir investments. Not that I'd advocate underhanded flimflammery, but you might want to unload your stuff now, before your pals read this post. On the plus side, when civilization goes to hell and we're all living like cannibals in "The Road," you can probably barter off your old Dale Jr. No. 8 diecasts for some crusts of bread. 

NASCAR Collectible Market A Bust [RacingNation.com]

Taillights fade: A look back at Hendrick Motorsports' 2009

We've wrapped the season, and so it's time to wrap up our look back. In a feature shamelessly ripped from Puck Daddy's Death Watch and Big League Stew's Walk Toward The Light, we're looking back on all the drivers. In the interest of making sure that this feature doesn't last until April, we're stepping up the pace and covering teams. And yes, I know there aren't taillights on Sprint cars. It's a metaphor. Roll with it.

Team:  Hendrick Motorsports

Drivers:  Jimmie Johnson, Jeff Gordon, Mark Martin, Dale Earnhardt Jr.

Record:  13 wins, 14 poles, 48 top-5s, 75 top-10s.

Season summary: Hendrick dominated. I mean, absolutely dominated. Taking-the-top-three-spots dominated. Between Gordon, Martin and Johnson, Hendrick won a full third of the races this year. (More, if you include Tony Stewart ... but let's leave him out for now.) So, in short -- a perfect year for Hendrick Motorsports. Oh, wait ...

Where it went right:  Everywhere. Hendrick cars ran well at almost every single track. In fact, Hendrick cars were in the top 10 at every single race save three -- the rain-shortened Daytona 500 and Coca-Cola 600, and Watkins Glen. That's pretty much a flawless season there, folks.

Where it went wrong: It's picking nits to say anything went wrong with Jimmie Johnson -- or, for that matter, with Jeff Gordon or Mark Martin. Both those latter two were up against a hundred-year flood, and in most other years, they'd have skated to the title. But the fourth member of the Hendrick quartet, Mr. Junior -- well, he did indeed have a period when it went wrong. It was called "2009." From untimely wrecks to crew chief changes to plain old bad luck, Junior just couldn't ever get going in 2009, and he's happier than anybody this side of Tiger Woods that the year is done.

Prospects for 2010: Perhaps slightly dimmed. How much will Johnson's focus be affected by having a baby on board? (Well, not on board, but en route.) Will Gordon and Martin be able to maintain their outstanding runs from 2009? Can Junior get his act together? Odds are, the answers to all three questions are "yes," but Hendrick's not as sure a bet as before.

Related Hendrick posts from 2009:

Quit crying about Jimmie Johnson and appreciate history
Jeff Gordon would like a word with you, Mister President
Mark Martin flows with ... Gucci Mane?
Dale Earnhardt Jr. unloads on NASCAR, Car of Tomorrow

Next up: The 2010 season!

The Johnsons are expecting; time for you to name the baby

Congratulations to Jimmie Johnson and wife Chandra, who have announced that they're expecting their first child. The littlest 48 fan is due sometime in July, which is right around the time that Jimmie usually starts his chase for the Chase. Will he be able to maintain his focus while changing diapers? Will the baby monitor be piped into his radio headset? Will the baby look like that trophy at right? We want to know, but we can't know!

So until then, we're left with this: Name Jimmie Johnson's Baby. We've offered up a few of our suggestions below; make your pick, and if the Johnsons pick it, you'll get to babysit the young'un at next year's Daytona 500. (Not really.) Anyway, get those baby-thinkin' caps on and see if you can beat:

Junior: Jimmie Johnson Junior? Sure, why not? Plus, triple-J would come out of the womb the most competitive Junior in NASCAR. Of course, if they name him "Junior Johnson," he'd be bootlegging juice boxes in preschool.

Bristol: Too Palin-esque, plus it sets a bad precedent -- Jimmie's never been able to master Bristol.

Brick: Considering when the baby's due, it's highly likely that Chandra could deliver in the Indianapolis infield. (Okay, not "highly" likely.) In honor of the Brickyard, why not call the kid "Brick"? It would honor Johnson's dominance in Indy, and as a bonus, there's always a career in certain kinds of film for a guy named "Brick Johnson."

Chase: Too cutesy by half, though it could work equally well for a boy or a girl.

Lowe: Just how far does that sponsorship contract extend? We may find out.

Chad: Um ... probably not.

Quad: Appropriate but kind of strange. Plus, what if Jimmie went on to win another title? That would mean that the baby's name should be ...

... Quint! Quint Johnson! It's perfect! Not just a baby's name, a rallying cry!

All right, your turn. What should the Johnsons name their little bundle of joy?

Tiger Woods' caddy takes motorsports title in New Zealand

You thought you were free from Tiger Woods articles on the NASCAR page, didn't you? You thought wrong!

Stevie Williams, Tiger's mouthy New Zealand-based caddy, makes his living walking, but drives a fairly mean car, too. This past weekend, Williams won the New Zealand Saloon Car title, beating out a field of 60 drivers. (Tempting as it is to consider a "saloon car" one that's either designed specifically for taking you to saloon or, even better, one with a saloon installed in it, the truth is that it's just a version of a sedan car. See more here.)

Williams also won the North Island Saloon Champs title last week, and is aiming for the New Zealand Super Saloon Champs this Friday. Say, isn't Tony Stewart in Australia right about now?

Williams is, of course, out of work as long as Tiger doesn't play, and has given no indication as to whether he'd be returning anytime soon. "I'm on holiday, mate," he smiled in response to the question of Woods' plans.

(Please note: that photo is of Mr. Woods, and it's not a recent one. It's from a 2006 charity event in New Zealand where Tiger and Stevie hung at a track.)

Anyway, congrats to Stevie on a job well done. Perhaps next time they're together, Steve could give Tiger a few hydrant-dodging lessons.

Create-a-caption: 'I just can't wait to start the 2010 season!'

New year, new set of create-a-caption photos. And we begin with this beauty; while it's a dreaded vertical photo, it still warrants inclusion here, yes?

I'm sure you can come up with plenty of material for that particular image. Perp-walk? Jimmie's secret for winning championships? Make the call.

We'll start fresh in '10 and post the winners here later this week. Go!

Who's going to be 2010's breakout star?

Welcome to 2010! At this writing, Daytona is barely 40 days away -- gotta love those short offseasons -- and thus we turn our eyes to the season ahead. NASCAR doesn't have a whole lot of turnover at its highest ranks -- the top drivers of 2004 looked a whole lot like the top drivers of 2009, for instance -- but every year, someone steps up and makes a fine impression on the sport and the fans. Last year it was Juan Pablo Montoya, finally capitalizing on years of promise to become one of the top drivers in 2009. So who's the 2010 version of Montoya? The possibilities include:

David Reutimann: An untimely spin by Denny Hamlin late in the '09 season cost him any chance at a Chase berth, but Reutimann has steadily and sharply progressed in his first few seasons. And with reliable competitor Martin Truex Jr. as a teammate, he can count on more protection and assistance than before. Breakout odds: 4-1.

Marcos Ambrose: Road-course warrior and fast becoming an oval-course challenger, everybody's favorite Aussie racer could bust through once and for all this year and make the Chase at last. Breakout odds: 5-1.

Jamie McMurray: He's got talent -- winning last year's Talladega monstrosity is proof of that -- but how will he fare in new equipment? Was Roush holding him up, or holding him back? Breakout odds: 10-1. 

AJ Allmendinger: Whenever he's gotten the chance to run in short bursts, he's run well. Now he takes over the 43 car, where he'll get all the opportunities he can handle. The pressure to find a ride is off; the pressure to handle a ride is on. Breakout odds: 20-1.

Joey Logano: His rookie year was strong -- by rookie standards. He proved he could hang with the pack, but can he get ahead of it? Jury's still out. Breakout odds: 25-1.

Scott Speed: Yes, we get it -- you're a Red Bull rebel who plays by his own rules. Time to include "winning" in those rules. Breakout odds: 50-1.

Jeremy Mayfield: New year, new beginnings? Yes? Maybe? Breakout odds: 1 million-1.

And now it's your turn. Make your call -- who's your pick for 2010's breakout star?